How to shag a flight attendant

Photo by: laslo-photo on Flickr.com

It’s the uniform, I guess… And the fact they get paid to be friendly and helpful. And definitely that they’re the boss, this difference in position. You know what I mean; no sane man has never felt the need to spend some intimate moments with a flight attendant.

And, considering how easy it is, I guess most also have.

Not that I’m a member of the notorious Mile High Club (planes ruin my stomach and I simply can’t with a bad belly); my trick is to get them out of their plane.

The first time I fancied a flight attendant enough to give it a try, was on a LAN flight, Bogota Lima, in the afternoon. The kind of half-empty flight that doesn’t really take off on the flight experience part. Such a flight in which you read everything there is to read, even before you’re up in the air. So I spent my time trying to lock eyes with one of the equally bored Shakiras walking the aisle. Quickly one bit.

Now here I think is the trick, I’ve seen this happening a million times. Most men try to score the girl when they’re still tied down with their seatbelt. Wrong! This might work on Desperate Housewives Airline, but with the Columbians on LAN you need a bit more. And you can’t give her more.

My experience, Columbian girls like to fight domination, but need to be dominated first. You can’t dominate a girl looking up from a cramped seat with your peanuts and mini-can of Coke. Come on! Instead, you wait until you leave the plane.

One, for you stand up and can meet her eyes in the air. Two, she has to make a snap decision. Women, in gerenal, are bad at making snap decisions and choose whatever a strong looking man suggest. Three, she might be ending her shift so with some luck on her part and some waiting on yours, you can pick her up together with your backpack.

That’s how I played it with the Columbian. She loved it. Her company had paid the hotel room and I knew some cool placs in the city. She was amazing. Full of passion and energy, as if she had been waiting for someone to do this with her for years. Ow, I remember that night well; Columbians are unforgettable anyway.

When I kissed her goodbye in the morning, feeling slightly uncomfortable in a hotelroom I had nothing to do with at six in the morning, I even gave her my real phonenumber. I guess I could have married her. We never flew again.