Dos and don’ts with a Japanese

Photo by: Hawken.dadako on Flickr.com

One of my first intercontinental flames was a Japanese girl. She was the cutest little thing and we hung out for three months or thereabout. I fancied her Toy Story cap, her pink sneakers and the many buttons on her trendy shirt. She was crazy, in this sweet innocent way all Japanese are crazy. In the end it didn’t work, everything was too new and too different and I too inexperienced. But I learnt, Yes I did, some important dos and don’ts for dating a Japanese.

You see, we all know Japan. So I planned a date to court her (these were the early days). We all know Japan and its clichés. I had it all worked out. We met for early-afternoon coffee and then I took her to an arcade to play a martial art game. The clichés. After the arcade we walked along the seaside and had a Sushi dinner. To conclude the night, we sang karaoke. She loved it. I thought she loved it.

How naïve, how dumb I have been.

Of course she smiled; Japanese girls always smile. Of course she said Yes when I asked her if she liked the date; Japanese girls have a tendency to make you feel good, to agree. Later, when we were heading for the inevitable end, she told me she would have had liked something slightly less Japan, slightly more creative. By then, I had learnt to ask open-questions, not the Yes/No type.

For, when you’re dating a Japanese girl, remember that given the option, they will always say Yes. Not because they mean Yes, but because it’s in their culture. Ask real questions and you will discover their true opinion.

Do also pay them enough attention. After a while, I didn’t. There was no response. That I took as lack of interest, but it was lack of my understanding of the Japanese way to say Thanks. So I stopped calling and broke her heart.

Ay, my Japanese flame, such a beauty from the other side of the world and the times we saw, the things we did. One word wonderful. Had I only known better, had I only been more experienced… (My life’s story, I reckon). In my humble opinion, Japanese girls must make perfect wives, but the dating them takes practice. Next time, who knows.